I Don’t Want to Be Claire Dederer’s “Poser”
Dispensing with role-playing may be, I think after reading Dederer’s book, necessary to becoming a fully realized adult. And if I am to become a mother, as “a fully realized adult” is the only way I want to do it.
I Don’t Want to Become Jess Zimmerman’s “Good Wife”
I already feel, in some ways, that becoming my fiancé’s betrothed has meant agreeing to manage him, and I feel no little amount of dread when I consider multiplying this management duty by one or more further persons.
Celia Paul’s Remarkable Removal
What many mothers might consider anathema, and what Paul herself describes as sacrifice, was the very thing necessary to being both mother and artist.
J. Nicole Jones’s Family Preservation
Is this, when it comes right down to it, the difference between creating a family and creating a piece of art? Does art rely upon individuality while family-making siphons from it?
Rivka Galchen’s Restful Worship
The problem isn’t and never has been motherhood itself. The problem has always been me—my fragile focus, so easily shattered; my delicate ambition, easily spooked but not as easily relinquished.
Miranda Popkey’s Sense of Surety
Motherhood would make of me someone I don’t know yet. What if she’s the opposite of the woman I’ve come to expect?
Rufi Thorpe & Making the Most of Myself
The irony of this entire inquiry is that I spent most of my twenties trying and failing to throw my self away.
Meghan Daum’s “Central Sadness”
If in the future I find myself sometimes lonely and aimless, empty in an undefinable way, will I be able to talk about it without the question of children coming up?
Shirley Jackson’s Motivating Motherhood
I wonder: would having babies motivate me? Would it supercharge my focus and force me to finish my book?
Vivian Gornick’s Mothers & Daughters
It’s not surprising, I suppose, that I should worry that being a full person is incompatible with being a mother: in the narrative I have of my own mother’s life, her tenure as a person appears to end with me.